Maternal Grandparents – Joseph Henry Higdon and Lucy Crossland Higdon - By Dee Dee

These next sections will be on what I know about my grandparents – how they met and what I know about them.  It is rather sketchy, but I will do what I can to bring their lives and stories in.

My mother’s parents were Joseph Henry and Lucy (Crossland) Higdon.  They lived in Louisiana.  I know less about my grandfather’s young life than I know about my grandmother’s.  I do know that Joseph had at least one brother.  I don’t know his parents’ or brother’s names.  I do know that at one point his mother was widowed and married a man named “Moore”.  Grandpa was a big old Irish man with show-white curly hair and the most twinkling brown eyes I have ever seen.  He was as easy-going as they come.  He walked with a limp from a black-smithing injury.

Joseph Henry Higdon and Lucy Crossland Higdon, date unknown.  The marking on the back of the photograph says, "Wellington, Texas":

My grandmother was Lucy Crossland Higdon.  Her parents were George Edward Crossland and Susan A. Howard Crossland.  They had 12 or 13 children, some dying in infancy.  Grandma’s mother and daddy both died when she was a young girl, and the family was broken up, with the various children being sent to different homes.

George Edward Crossland and Susan Howard Crossland, year unknown.  I don’t know who the child is (perhaps Ben or Hiram Lemuel Crossland?):

Grandma went to live with a woman named “McQuire” that ran a millenary shop making hats and all kinds of accessories.

Grandma and Grandpa met at a fair.  I don’t know if it was a local, county, or state fair, but I know that when Grandpa saw her, he went over immediately and told Grandma, “I’m marrying you some day.”

When they married, I guess Mrs. McQuire made her a good wedding, because they always talked about how many yards of lace were in her dress and that she carried orange blossoms as a bouquet.

Their children were:  (1) Georgia Virginia, (2) “Bill” – it was a nickname; he hated his name so he went by “Bill” and that’s all I know; (3) “Bud” – also a nickname; same circumstances as Bill; I do know that one of their real names was Lemuel Hiram; (4) Ione (nicknamed “Nōne” – pronounced the same as “known”); (5) Opal Ella Nora (my mother); (6) Rufus; (7) Margaret; and (8) Joseph, Jr.

I don’t know when they left Louisiana, but I do know my mother was born in Eastland, Texas, on 15 January 1912.  From Eastland they moved by covered wagon to Wellington, Texas and spent their lives there.

My Grandpa was a unique man.  He was a black-smith by trade, but also played the violin and gave music lessons.  He also made violins and they were beautiful.  I remember that as kids we loved going into his little shed and dabbling in the varnish and messing with his resin.  He’d run us out, but with good humor.

My grandma was a thin woman of medium height.  She was, in all honesty, so sharp-tongued and cold.  She never showed affection to any of Mama’s kids.  We would ride the train from Dodson to Wellington to see them, and we usually came back the same day.  But my sister would go with my aunt and spend the night.  Once my sister’s legs were hurting really badly and she was crying.  Grandma told her, “Young lady, shut up!  You just want to go home.”

Grandma raised gardens and did canning, and she would butcher and prepare hogs.  She was the most wonderful cook I’ve known.

I know that she must have had a very rough life that contributed to her coldness and sharpness, but the one thing I have never understood is the unevenness of it.  She was meaner to my little mother than everyone else combined.  I can’t wrap my mind around why.  Mother was the sweetest, most gentle and meek of the whole bunch, but Grandma always picked her out to be mean to.  Grandpa wasn’t, and when Mama and Daddy married, Grandpa said to Grandma, “Luce, get Opal’s quilt out for her.”  Grandma had made quilts for all of the kids as they married, but wasn’t going to give Mama one.  There are other things to say, but at least you get the idea.  By today’s standard, the things she did would be child abuse.

As I said at the beginning, Mama was gentle and had been called a saint.  Mama loved her kids and grandkids so much.  She was semi-invalid for years, but she was sit and crochet and sew Barbie clothes for all of the grand-daughters.  All the grandkids loved going to “Ma’s” house (that’s what they called her).  They knew they would have Dr. Pepper to drink and Milky Way candy bars to eat.  She was always glad to see them all.

Now this part is the most painful, but also the most comforting thing I can think of.  My Mama died in my arms, with my Aunt None there.  To this point in my life, it has been the most hurtful thing I could go through.  I only pray to never lose a child or grandchild.  As for the part of her being a saint, I saw it with my own eyes.  As she died, a bright, beautiful halo light lit up all around her face. 

I didn’t say anything for a few days, and then I finally said to Aunt None, “When Mama died, did you see anything?”

She went pale and said, “Well, yes, there was a light around her head.”

Then Aunt None went on to say that Mama was the most saint-like person she had ever known.  This is the only thing that got me through this time.  The years and pain rolled away from her face.  Oh!  Mama, I love you so!

Note from Lori:  I was lucky enough to receive quite a treasure trove of Barbie clothes when I was a kid, and I spent hours and hours playing with my Barbies and my “House of Opal” fashions.  Ever the sentimental pack rat, even as a child, I still have them.

Here is my old Barbie case, packed with clothes:

Here are just a few of some of my favorite outfits made by my beloved “Ma”:

I also have been starting on some geneology, and here is the information that I have so far – please use this as a starting point only and since I am prone to error at times, by all means feel free to verify:

Joseph Henry Higdon, born 28 January 1879 in Louisiana; died 26 May 1956 in Collingsworth County, Texas; buried in Dodson, Texas.

Lucy Crossland Higdon, born about 24 March 1877 in Claiborne Parish, Lousiana; died 23 September 1957 In Wellington, Collingsworth, Texas.  Buried in Dodson, Texas.

Children:

Georgia Virginia Higdon, born 12 June 1902 in Arcadia, Bienville, Louisiana; Married 15 December 1929 to Glen Orville Ford in Hollis, Harmon, Oklahoma; died 16 October 1983 in Odessa, Ector, Texas.  (Also married to A.B. Cooper).

Gordia H. Higdon, born 1904; died 1984.

Lemuel Hiram Higdon, born 1906; died 1978.

Eula Ione Higdon, born 14 July 1909 in Pioneer, Eastland, Texas;  Married 30 June 1937 to Henry Merle Dunn in Oklahoma City,  Oklahoma; died 24 March 2003 in Midland, Texas.

Opal Ella Nora Higdon, born 15 January 1912 in Eastland, Texas; Married 21 November 1931 to Paul Millard Ford; died 15 July 1971, in Dodson, Collingsworth, Texas.

Rufus Lamar Higdon, born 1915; died 1997.

Joe Higdon, born 1918; died 1984.

Margaret Louise Higdon Payne, born 1922; died 1999.

Paul Millard Ford (By Dee Dee)

My Daddy’s name was Paul Millard Ford.  He was born on May 24, 1909, in Protem, Missouri.  His father was Janet W. Ford (I never really got it -- what a weird name for a man).  His mother was Ollie Vada Woods Ford.  He was one of eight children born to them.  I don’t know if they lived in Missouri or Arkansas first, but I do know they lived in both of those states before moving to Dodson, Texas, when my dad was a young boy.

Pictures of my father with Lori:

It is very hard for me to write about my Daddy because of the mixed feelings I have.  He was one of the hardest working, most generous persons that ever was.  He was good to his kids and worked awfully hard to feed and support us.  He worked in the combining business – he cut wheat and maize in the summer, and hauled bales of cotton and cotton seed in the fall and winter.

He worked for others when I was a little girl, and we were poor (I do mean poor).  We lived in a four-room shack with no running water inside, nor bathroom, but as Daddy worked harder he started buying his own equipment.  At one time he had 5 trucks and 5 combines (he converted an old school bus for a travel trailer for him and his crew to sleep in).  They would cut the wheat in Texas and Oklahoma and move on to Kansas, Nebraska, and both the Dakotas right up to the Canadian border.  It was a terrible way to make a living, cutting wheat in that Texas and Oklahoma heat.  He would come in sunburned and covered in wheat shaft.  The year I was 11 years old, they had bumper crops and Daddy came back with enough money  that he paid up-front for a house that had just been built a year or two before by a family that had moved to town and decided they didn’t want to stay.  It was 3 bedrooms, a living room, a huge kitchen,  and (wah-hoo!) a bathroom.  The kitchen had really pretty cabinets and a double sink.  My little Mama no longer had to heat water for dishes, baths, etc.  It was so wonderful!  Daddy bought her a Formica dinette set; it was salmon color with little gray flecks.  Mama would polish it every day.  Also, for the first time we had an electric refrigerator.  We were really happy.

Lori and Lara (with Kandi’s dog, Lu-Lu) in front of the family house:

 Lori and Mama coming in the back door, through the kitchen:

My sister-in-law, Pat (Ronnie’s 1st wife), and me doing a little kitchen clean-up in the kitchen (and yes, this is the dinette set that I described):

Sadly, when we went by the old homestead a few years ago, all that was left where the house once stood is three trees that we planted when we first moved in and our old mail box:

As I said before, my Daddy was one of the hardest working men I know.  He helped all of us all that he could as we got older and married, and he often would take groceries and things to some of his crew members that were having it hard.

He was also a very smart man.  He had only a 6^th or 7^th grade education, but was a whiz in math and read very well.  He was also a very handsome man.  Many thought he looked like Roy Rogers, and even one time some kid thought that he was.  The hard part to write about is the big flaw that he had, but since I’m trying to leave an accurate record I cannot ignore it or sugarcoat it.  Daddy just could not, or would not, be faithful to my dear little Mama.  As far back as I can remember he had girlfriends.  My Mama would cry so very much.  They never divorced, but Daddy moved in with another woman and that is where he died.  He did September 11, 1968.  I know he loved us and many times when I’ve had trouble through the years, I have had dreams and he would always tell me things will be all right.  The one thing I pray for is that somehow,  some way he and my Mama can be at peace with each other.  They both loved their kids and both worked so hard to raise us.  I think they did a pretty darn good job.

Additional Story from Lori:

I don’t remember “Pa Pa” as much as I wish I did, but I do remember a few things.  He drove a pickup truck and when I was a little girl he would let me sit on his lap, and while he operated the gas and the brake, I would get to “drive” with the steering wheel.  (When you live in a little town surrounded by country roads you can do this.)

I remember going to the cotton gin located on the main street running through Dodson and he showed me off to some of his friends and bought me a soda out of the soda machine there (quite a treat back in the day!).  My cousin, Kandi Ford, and I had a blast climbing and playing in the huge mountain of cotton seed that had been separated from the cotton.

Picture of the cotton gin in Dodson, Texas, taken just a few years ago.  The little house to the left of the building belonged to my father's brother, Lex Ford and Lex' wife, Ethel:

I also remember a time when I thought he had to be the king of the world.  We would often go live with “Ma” whenever my father had an overseas military assignment.  I guess Pa Pa was living “elsewhere” at the time (because he wasn’t with us), and we were in need of groceries.  He showed up with several bags of groceries.  Here is the hero part:  in those bags of groceries, among the meat and produce, etc., was the biggest bag of M&M’s I had ever seen!  This was back in the day when most people bought the little individual bags and I was absolutely thrilled.  I guess I’ve always had a love affair with chocolate!

Mr. Parker (As Told by Dee Dee)

What can you say about someone (outside of family) that has had the biggest impact on your life?  Well, for Mr. Ted Parker, I will have to say he was a once-in-a-lifetime teacher.

He came to teach at our school when I was in the 7^th or 8^th grade.  He was a high school teacher, but he was the junior high girls’ and boys’ basketball coach.

When I got in high school, he helped me overcome so much of the inferiority complex that I had.  He pushed me into playing basketball, and he always gave me a part in the plays and operettas (even though I couldn’t sing a lick).  He would always give me a speaking part.  I did fairly well at acting.

I don’t know how he taught all the classes he did.  He taught geography (yes, we did have that), history, civics, music, and coached all the basketball teams.  He always called me "Gaye Bell".  I can still hear him as I would be running down the basketball court:  “Come on, Gaye Bell – you can do it!”  He made us learn all the states and their capitals; I still know them today.  We had to learn all the U.S. presidents and the order in which they served.  I don’t remember that.

He took time with every student and worked with each one on their weaknesses.  I’m not bragging, but for a shy, introverted girl as I was, I ended up winning many honors.  I was voted “Most Popular”, “Best All Around”, “Class Queen” and a couple of others.  But the best one of all – I made All-Tournament Team.  Mr. Parker wrote in my year book that it was one of his proudest moments when I was the first girl guard from our school to make all-tournament team.

He always said he had high hopes for my going to college, and when our college test was submitted to Canyon State College my scores were one of three highest submitted to them and the college personnel office was looking for me to arrange a scholarship.  The only thing is I had married in January, and I did graduate in May, but Larry had plans on going back to school at Weatherford.  I did finally get a college degree at age 48, and although it was only an Associate’s, I was proud to have at least gotten it.

I regret that I never contacted Mr. Parker and let him know what a good influence he had on my life.  So all of you that have had a once-in-a-lifetime teacher, if they are still living, look them up and tell them.  You’ll be so glad you did, and I’m sure the teacher will appreciate it, too.

(Note:  Below is the newspaper article and accompanying pictures that appeared in the “Hollis News” that profiled Mr. Ted Parker.  An advertisement on the back of the clipping advertises an upcoming event on July 31, 1991.)

James Quantrell Tucker - A Salute to Teachers

A note from Lori:  James Quantrell Tucker was my great-grandfather on my father’s side – Larry’s paternal grandfather.  He died when I was about five, so I don’t have a lot of memories of him.  However, his wife, Carrie, was a favorite of mine and there will be future posts about Carrie and Quantrell (Dee Dee remembers quite a bit about him).  The following is from a newspaper clipping that I found in a book.  I have copied the text to make it easier to read, but the clipping in its entirety is at the end of this post.  I am guessing that it is from the newspaper, “The Hollis News”, from Hollis, Oklahoma, and the obituaries on the back of the clipping are from the first couple of weeks in June of 1990.

“A Salute to Teachers

By Edith Carter

A salute this week goes to James Quantrell Tucker.

In 1911, Mr. and Mrs. R.B. Tucker, Sr. came from Texas to Harmon county and settled in the Teacross community. Their home was a half dugout with a room on the top. This was the typical home for early day settlers. Mrs. Tucker was formerly Katie Arnold. Their children are: Mary, Maggie, Quantrell, Rushin, Jessie, Frank, Honor, R.B. Jr. and Edna. All of the children attended Teacross school and Teacross Baptist Church.

In 1912-13 Mr. Watts started the enthusiasm for playing basketball. It was played on a dirt court outside and was the high point of interest after school, Saturday and Sunday afternoon. The entire community would gather, watch and visit. In 1914-15 Mr. Partain became coach and the team continued to be the main attraction. Then in 1916 Mr. Coonsmiller was the coach and the

team gained the reputation "never was beaten." This is the team Quantrell was so proud of. They were called "the undefeated team of Harmon County."

Teacross had school to the eighth grade. Those wanting to teach elementary grades were given a teacher's test.

Outsiders played on the basketball teams as they were not a part of the school system. These men teachers coached the young men after school hours and on weekends. The last day of school at Teacross was looked forward to from one year to the next. An all day affair was held at the school with parents and children arriving early in their buggies or wagons with big boxes of food to have a "dinner on the ground." Programs were given by the children and then the community was treated to a play, put on by the young people and young marrieds of the community.

In 1919 Quantrell married Carrie Burt, also of Teacross. He started his teaching career in 1920 in his beloved Teacross school. Teachers who taught with him were Virgie Burt, Norma Arrant and Jewel McCarty. After three years he went to Gould school, then to Lone Star and Metcalf. In 1930, he decided to run for county superintendent. He was elected and worked there five years deciding to quit the teaching field in 1935 to become postmaster of the Hollis post office. This was in the building across the street from the new post office built in 1940. He continued in this capacity until Aug. 1946. Others working with him were Raymond Hall, Bill Cagle, Jim Cunningham, Bolan Braswell, Perry Doolittle, Frank Burns, R.O. Hawkins, and Verner Briscoe. Custodians were Emory Felty and John Boyett.

Quantrell and Carrie had two children, Blaine and Margary   Quantrell passed away in 1966 and is buried in Fairmount cemetery.”

My 6th Birthday (By Lori)

At the time that I turned six, Larry was serving a tour of duty in Vietnam so Dee Dee, Lara, and I were living at Dee Dee’s mother’s (Ma’s) house.  Dodson, Ma’s town, and Hollis, the Tucker’s town, were just about 13 miles apart, so it was no big deal to go to Hollis when we felt the desire.  This proved to be quite useful when it was time for my birthday “extravaganza”.

You see, when Blaine and Madelene bought their house, it was directly across the street from the high school.  There was a separate building on the side of the house, facing the school, and the woman who previously owned the house – and that building -- had the spare building set up as a little burger joint.  Many of the kids would come there for lunch; since the school mascot was a tiger, this little place was called, “The Tiger Den”.  The lady left all of the furnishings intact when she left, which meant that there were several booths and tables with lots of space for a birthday party!

This was one of the few birthday parties that I can remember that actually involved more than just our immediate family.  To make it even more special, I had a “Batman” cake!  I was crazy for all things Batman at the time, and this was such a special, special treat.  I think I was more excited about the cake than I was at the prospect of presents.  Here are the few pictures we have from that day:

Here I am at Ma’s house, waiting to go:

 Yes, I even let my little sister come (ha, ha):

Here we are with my cousin, Kandi Ford.  She is the daughter of Dee Dee’s brother, Ronnie:

Some of the “Tucker” side was there, too.  On the left, with just half of her face showing, is Jani Amburn.  She is Larry’s cousin’s (Janie Amburn’s) daughter.  On the right side in the front is Jimmy Ford.  With a name like “Ford”, you might think he’s from Dee Dee’s side of the family.  However, Blaine’s sister, Margie, married a man named Bill Ford, and Jimmy is their son.  In the back is my uncle, Monte.  He was only 4 years older than me – Larry was a senior in high school when his mother was pregnant with his younger brother.

The pictures from this birthday serve to highlight one other phenomenon that was prevalent in my life during this time:  big, poufy hair.  Dee Dee had a major fascination with those pink foam rollers, and she rolled my hair all the time.  Looking through old pictures, it seems that the pink foam curler was not saved for special occasions (like birthday parties).  Here I am with my great-grandmother, Carrie (and some major pouf):

At bed time at Ma’s house – it’s the end of the day, but that curl is still hanging on!

And here we are at the old mobile home, with me actually sporting those dreadful things:

I guess mothers through the ages have done whatever it takes to make little girls look good!

Family Fudge Recipes (by Dee Dee)

When I was a little girl and we lived in the old house, one of the better memories of that time was winter time, when my mother made homemade fudge and popped popcorn.  We always seemed to have a friend of one of us kids over and Mama would always make a big batch of fudge (the recipe she used is in this posting).  She would pop a dishpan full of popped corn and we would eat ourselves silly.  It sure was good.  I did not have her fudge recipe.  I did know what ingredients were in it, but didn’t know the amounts.  But thanks to the internet I found the recipe.

As I mentioned above we lived in the old house.  We were very, very poor when I was little and to this day I don’t know how my Mama and Daddy managed to keep us fed and the old tin roof over our heads, but they did.  The house was four rooms and little storage room.  Mama, Daddy, five kids, and Daddy’s mother (Grandma Ollie) all lived there.

We had no bathroom and no running water in the house; therefore, we had an old wooden out-house for doing our business and a big tin bath tub that Mama would heat the water for our baths.  Needless to say, we didn’t get a bath every day – at least once a week and sometimes twice a week.

The kitchen was so cold in the winter that Mama wouldn’t let us eat in there.  She would cook it and serve it in the living room.  We didn’t have an electric refrigerator, but we had a big wooden ice box.  It had one big door and shelves on one side and two smaller doors on the other side.  We had big blocks of ice that would go in the top of the side with two doors.  It kept the milk and everything cold.  I remember it even was cold enough to make jello.

The only thing good about that house was the tin roof and how good the rain sounded hitting it.  The tin roof reminds me of a funny story.  My Daddy and younger brother, Ronny, were putting a new tin roof on.  My older brother, Buddy, was sleeping and it was about noon time.  Buddy yelled, “Quit making that noise!  I’m trying to sleep!”

Daddy came off the roof in a flash.  He let out a string of curse words that would put any sailor to shame and told Buddy to get out of that bed and help them.  I have to admit I took the cursing like a sailor after my Daddy.  I can let loose with some pretty choice words.  I’ve done better through the years, but I still sometimes let loose.

Ma’s Fudge Recipe

Ingredients

3 cups sugar

2/3 cup cocoa powder, unsweetened

1/8 tsp. salt

1-1/2 cup milk

¼ cup butter, melted

1 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions

Line an 8 or 9-inch square pan with foil; butter the foil.

In a large heavy sauce pan, stir in the sugar, cocoa powder, and salt.  Mix well.  Gently stir in milk with large wooden spoon.

Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture comes to full rolling boil.

Boil without stirring to 234° F on candy thermometer.  The bulb of the candy thermometer should not rest on the bottom of the pan. (Should take about 20-30 minutes.)

Remove from heat, add butter and vanilla.  Do not stir.

Cool at room temperature to 110° or lukewarm. Do not stir.  (Takes approximately 2 hours or more.)

Beat fudge with a wooden spoon or until it thickens and loosens some of its gloss (15-20 minutes – it will look more like frosting instead of syrup when it is ready).  Quickly spread onto prepared pan; cool.

Cut into squares using a warm knife that has been dipped in hot water and dried off.

Wrap loosely in foil and place in refrigerator.

Dee Dee’s Fudge Recipe

Ingredients

3 cups sugar

¾ cup margarine

2/3 cup evaporated milk

1 12-oz package semi-sweet chocolate chips

1 7-oz jar Kraft Marshmallow crème

1 cup chopped nuts

4 teaspoons vanilla extract

Directions

Combine sugar, margarine, and milk in heavy 2-1/2 quart saucepan; bring to full rolling boil, stirring constantly.  Continue boiling 5 minutes over medium heat, stirring.  Remove from heat, stir in chocolate until melted.  Add marshmallow crème, nuts, and vanilla; beat until blended.  Pour into greased 13 x 9-inch baking pan.  Let cool and cut into 1-inch squares.

Addition by Lori:  My whole family loves Dee Dee’s fudge, especially Mandy.  Christmas is made even more special by the fact that we know that Dee Dee will be making big batches of fudge for everyone.  I had to laugh when Mandy informed me several years ago that if I wanted to make sure that she came for Christmas every year I would have to learn to make Dee Dee’s fudge!

Dee Dee Adds:  I have made fudge for the whole family at Christmas for over 30 years now.  Last Christmas (2011) was the first time ever that I was not able to make fudge (I was suffering from pneumonia).  Next year I plan to make doubles -- I guess that's the optimist in me!

The Intruder (By Lori)

When we were younger, Dee Dee loved to dress us up and take our picture.  It has long been a little family joke that another figure would mysteriously appear in those pictures (usually one of her fingers).  I'm not sure how old I was when these two pictures were taken, but we were at Ma's (Opal's) house at the time.  Ma did not have central heat and air and used those little gas stoves to heat the house.  Of all the spots in the house that I could have been placed to take these pictures, I ended up "straddling" the gas jet in both of them:

I have teased Mom about this for ages...Well, actually, I did tease her until I began looking at some of the pictures that I have taken through the years and I began to notice how many "intruders" are in them (that's if I even managed to get it all in the frame).  I didn't know that this was a trait that could actually be passed down, but apparently it is!